After I heard the verdict with regard to the Trayvon Martin case, I literally became sick to my stomach. I wanted to crawl under anything and not be seen for a while. I then thought about all the writers that I love that came before me and it dawned on me that it was not right to suppress my voice nor my emotions. Below is a raw, up close, and personal account of what I posted via my Facebook Profile Page.
July 14, 2013
My rant for this evening:
If the shoe fits wear it — if it don’t keep it moving.
… tried to go on hiatus, went to church earlier, slept the entire afternoon, now it’s about to rain. I cried a little when I woke up, thought about Dr. Martin Luther King, called my aunt, walked down the street, listened to a few clips, and laughed a little courtesy of Paul Mooney and for some reason — I just ain’t feeling it.
I’m not feeling how I have to defend myself when folks joke about my people. I ain’t understanding how folks come to this country and want me to stand up for their people and you can’t send a word of encouragement for or to mine. I can’t get the fact that you don’t understand that we BUILT this freak’n country on the backs of my ancestors and 97% of the population of NON-Blacks don’t want to be us but will tan, get injections for their lips, hair, azz and everything else under the sun to be just like us (AND THAT ISH IS GLOBAL and then you tell my Black Sisters that they need to follow in your footsteps — and they do for some crazy azz reason).
I can’t get the fact that the entire congress is predominately WHITE and that the first Black President of the United States of America was subjected to being asked to show his birth certificate to prove he is a citizen. I can’t get the fact that Black Folks and Latinos were not allowed in Libraries until the 1970’s (I’m not going to focus on them, because that is a whole nother’ can of worms). I can’t get the fact that you are eating grapes, sitting on your porch like ain’t nothing happened this weekend. I can’t get the fact that next month we will be talking about Dr. Martin Luther King’s speech once again — and ain’t nothing changed.
I am black; I am in total fusion with the world, in sympathetic affinity with the earth, losing my id in the heart of the cosmos — and the white man, however intelligent he may be, is incapable of understanding Louis Armstrong or songs from the Congo. I am black, not because of a curse, but because my skin has been able to capture all the cosmic effluvia. I am truly a drop of sun under the earth. ― Frantz Fanon, Black Skin, White Masks
None of this shyt makes sense to me. None of it. And, then I see folks just move on like it ain’t nothing. It didn’t touch their house so … Oh, well. I just want folks to know something it would not be in your best interest to say anything out of order around me when it comes to my people. It would be in your best interest to think it versus you saying it — because I don’t know how I will react after this one. And, if you know me personally you know everything that I’ve stated I will say to your face.
I’m not scared — but I am scared for you. I really feel this way, because when people can steal, rob, kill, destroy another culture, and then act like it did not happen and that racism does not exist (WHICH WHITE FOLK CREATED IN AMERICA) then we got some issues here. I ain’t running from the truth — this shyt hurts to the core. You can delete me, never talk to me, do whatever you feel will suppress the guilt that you know harbors within your history — it is a dark history. I would not want to carry that burden on my shoulders for anybody.
I will be praying tonight — again. For some reason in the back of my mind I know that this is not the end. The chapter is not closed until this country owns up to what it did to BLACK PEOPLE. I ain’t speaking for no other culture right now. I’m speaking for mine.