//
you're reading...
Confessions of a Writer

A Letter to My Father, If Only…

Dear Dad:

 

I was six years old when your life was taken by someone that you knew in Fort Worth, Texas. I never got to meet you, and I have been searched for you all of my life. I finally got the keys to unlock your vault this year. I have no clue about why you and mother could not get along – at this age in my life I really could care less. I just feel that you were wrong for not making an effort to get to know me. I turned out to be pretty cool. Regardless of your faults, I believe you were somebody and your name deserves to be chanted today.

I just left the park and while I was there I shouted your name out as loud as I could for the universe to hear. I even dedicated a freestyle to you and I took a bow after I finished my impromptu lyrical tribute. Sometimes, I wonder what parents are thinking when they birth children and realize that everything that they do will affect us in some fashion or form. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life when it comes to men but I am better for it, because I did have a few that stood up when necessary to step in your place – it never has been for a long time though. I often wonder how my other siblings feel being that they got to know you – but I was the only one that was left out of the pictures and the moments that I could one day look back and say I was there with you. Perhaps, it was a part of my life’s mission to find you myself and establish something with you from a spiritual perspective.

I now know when you were born and the day you died. I have also visited your burial site and will continue throughout my life. I want to tell you that I love/ed your parents. They showered me with so much love as a teenager and through adulthood. I met your sister, my Aunt Linda and her children. We are very close too as a unit. A lot of folk may think this is crazy to write you and tell you that I love you. I do though. If you and my mother would have never met – I would not be here to write this now. I just want you to know that all of my life I have thought about you. I wondered what you looked like and how you smelled. I wondered if we would ever do things together and if you would see me at my best and my worst.

I talked with my mom about not allowing me to know you too a few years before she transitioned; she apologized for her role in all of what happened. I honor what she told me. It hurt and still does a lot, but I am okay with what has transpired. I am thankful that I had enough sense to continue to ask questions and finally received my answers. If you had lived to see your 50th b-day – I have no doubt in my mind that we would have met up in the physical. It would have been awkward, but at least I would have been able to make up my mind if I wanted you in my life.

Today, I just want to say thank you for existing long enough for me to be able to come into this world and make my mark. I am your legacy. I am your daughter. I am your wildflower.

Luv,

kYmberly

Advertisements

About kreativeYoungmillionaire

Writer | Art Librarian | Creative Mixologist | Genealogy Curator

Discussion

2 thoughts on “A Letter to My Father, If Only…

  1. That is so, so powerful and beautiful! Im sorry he was not in your life! I have been blessed to have my dad my whole life, I almost lost him when I was 15, but he is still here. Just remember he may not have been there but you are here and no matter how much that hurts you are a strong woman in your own right! Blessed Be

    Posted by elizabethangel3365 | October 5, 2018, 3:05 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Social Rants

...trying it out. I got the coffee milk unitea. #coffeemilktea #uniteabubbletea #letssee #coffeetealover😊 #ijs
...still in awe of the Arlington Public Library. The architecture is amazing! #arlingtonpubliclibrary #publiclibrariesmatter #ubettathink2018
...I started my poetry curating career at this museum. I was the first and only African American Poet to host in this museum for four years! So many memories! #ubettathink2018 #blackcoffeethepoetryhost #afterhours #arlingtontx
...u know I gotta keep this fresh cut! My barber and big brother, all my life!!!!! His name is Marlin Wright @ Razors Edge Barber Shop on Harwood in Woodhaven. The only man that can touch my dome in DFW! Best cuts in town. Walk_in's only on Saturday! #ubettathink2018 #blackbarbersrock #ftworthtxbarber
...Cindabell will turn 12 years next month. We got a pre-teen on our hands. She is fabulous in every way and 5/4 in height. I think she will be at least 6 feet and some change before she is a senior in high school. #ubettathink2018 #cindabell
...had to stop at Garret's Popcorn Shop! #garretspopcornchicago #ubettathink2018
...glowing!!! Just did that thang! I am free -Jesus. Yah girl, was fiah. I feel so good and empowered after giving my speech. Now, headed to writing an article for the Harlem Encyclopedia coming out in 2019, and my first schololary book about 5 Black Art Librarians from Texas, published by Cambridge Press in 2020. #ubettathink2018 #mylifeisbossy #mynameiskymizsofly #iamablackwriterlibrarianarchivistartist #fashionistaeverydaythang #nylaconference18 #keynoteluncheonspeaker
.....yessssssssssss!!!!!! I am on ten right now. My life is full of so many surprises. I am so honored to be here, and the presentation that accompanied my speech looks fabulous! #ubettathink2018 #nylaconference18 #mynameiskymizsofly #blacklibrarianandarchivist #representingtexas #thankuuniverse
#wroteitinthreeweekends #professionalnarratives #diversityequityNinclusion #letstalkaboutitluncheon #@1230pmest #nylaconference18 #mynameiskymizsofly
Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: