//
you're reading...
Confessions of a Writer

A Letter to My Father, If Only…

Dear Dad:

 

I was six years old when your life was taken by someone that you knew in Fort Worth, Texas. I never got to meet you, and I have been searched for you all of my life. I finally got the keys to unlock your vault this year. I have no clue about why you and mother could not get along – at this age in my life I really could care less. I just feel that you were wrong for not making an effort to get to know me. I turned out to be pretty cool. Regardless of your faults, I believe you were somebody and your name deserves to be chanted today.

I just left the park and while I was there I shouted your name out as loud as I could for the universe to hear. I even dedicated a freestyle to you and I took a bow after I finished my impromptu lyrical tribute. Sometimes, I wonder what parents are thinking when they birth children and realize that everything that they do will affect us in some fashion or form. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life when it comes to men but I am better for it, because I did have a few that stood up when necessary to step in your place – it never has been for a long time though. I often wonder how my other siblings feel being that they got to know you – but I was the only one that was left out of the pictures and the moments that I could one day look back and say I was there with you. Perhaps, it was a part of my life’s mission to find you myself and establish something with you from a spiritual perspective.

I now know when you were born and the day you died. I have also visited your burial site and will continue throughout my life. I want to tell you that I love/ed your parents. They showered me with so much love as a teenager and through adulthood. I met your sister, my Aunt Linda and her children. We are very close too as a unit. A lot of folk may think this is crazy to write you and tell you that I love you. I do though. If you and my mother would have never met – I would not be here to write this now. I just want you to know that all of my life I have thought about you. I wondered what you looked like and how you smelled. I wondered if we would ever do things together and if you would see me at my best and my worst.

I talked with my mom about not allowing me to know you too a few years before she transitioned; she apologized for her role in all of what happened. I honor what she told me. It hurt and still does a lot, but I am okay with what has transpired. I am thankful that I had enough sense to continue to ask questions and finally received my answers. If you had lived to see your 50th b-day – I have no doubt in my mind that we would have met up in the physical. It would have been awkward, but at least I would have been able to make up my mind if I wanted you in my life.

Today, I just want to say thank you for existing long enough for me to be able to come into this world and make my mark. I am your legacy. I am your daughter. I am your wildflower.

Luv,

kYmberly

Advertisements

About kreativeYoungmillionaire

Writer | Art Librarian | Creative Mixologist | Genealogy Curator

Discussion

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

Social Rants

Image: Black Studies Department @ DC Public Library #blacknesspersonnified365 #blacklibrariesmatter #ubettathink2018 #allmyfriendsreadbooks #21stcenturyabolitionist
#14daystogo #newlifestyle #newviewlife #ubettathink2018 #allmyfriendsreadbooks #21stcenturyabolitionist
Testimony: I am a Native Texan: Born in Fort Worth! Well, God went ahead yesterday at 4pm CST and said open the door for my babygirl. I am coming home to Austin, TX as the new African American Community Archivist! U talking bout grace, mercy, and favor -He will do it. Remember this if nothing else.... God works through people. I gotta dynamic circle. I am beyond elated and thankful. I am a DOUBLE DOSE: LIBRARIAN & ARCHIVIST! #ubettathink2018 #allmyfriendsreadbooks #21stcenturyabolitionist #sexylibrariansrock #sexyarchivistsrock #texan4life
#believing #summermagic #positivevibes #ubettathink2018
#shedidthat💋 #blackwomenwarriors #wearethelight #blackgirlmagic #ubettathink2018 #allmyfriendsreadbooks #21stcenturyabolitionist
...my nephew sealed the deal this weekend. I am sooooo proud of Joshua & Christina Mccullough. They are young and did it all right -entire process! Loving this union!!! Here is to love, joy, and a lifetime of happiness. #ubettathink2018 #themcculloughs #fortworthtexas #blacksummerweddings♡ #blacknesspersonnified365
....finally getting able to relax from this journey. I still have to push thru another phase, but it's been worth it. I don't regret any decisions I have made. I have learned to pray for PEACE in the midst of all storms no matter the size. #june2018itsawrap #ubettathink2018 #allmyfriendsreadbooks #sexylibrariansrock #21stcenturyabolitionist
#boughtitforadollar #blacklibrariansrock #summerreadingissexy #dou4u✌ #luvu😘 #ubettathink2018 #allmyfriendsreadbooks
#iluvblackmen #ifureadbooksusosexy #whatsyophonenumberboo #ubettathink2018 #allmyfriendsreadbooks
Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: