Hopefully, my words will send off a force in the cyber universe, landing on a planet with folk that like to read. I feel as if I am back in a space where I can write and share who I am with others and create a new platform about myself and for my future. It’s been a minute. And, Happy New Years to You! A lot is different in my life. I made it to 2019: woke up thinking, woke up reading, woke up sipping tea, woke up and took a brisk walk, woke up thinking about love – being in love, I woke up again. To do it all over again. Blessed, with a full list of hashtags for this new canvas I have been gifted today.
I look back at 2018, and say I did that. It was not easy. I faced every challenge with grace, poise, tears, emotions, etc. I will always be me and then again I grew some too in the process of being a human on this earth with feelings. What does it mean to be a writer to me and sharing all of this with an audience; and how will I share it has been on my mind a lot lately. I want to have a personal relationship with my readers in a safe space. I think coming back to my cultural digital curation is the key for me this year. Just like exercise, you have to make time for what you love doing. With all the experiences that I had in the past four years of my life, surely I have something to say and to look at it differently going forth. I know who I am. I am someone who paints pictures with words and are in my peripheral view.
We are living in a time now, where you need to consciously be aware of creative vibrations and how they can positively help you throughout your daily regimen. I had to make sure before the day even got going that I finished, The Fire This Time: A New Generation Speaks about Race, Edited by Jesmyn Ward. I honestly, will be using it as guide for presentations and talks that I’ll be having in the community and my personal circles, and will read it in its entirety again. I cannot fathom the news these days. I read the headlines now. My creative world has come to since this past year – going back to the fundamentals of life, and realizing to be clear and concise about things requires self-care. And, what goes in my mind is a part of that. I chose the two books to get me going for the month of January including Difficult Women, by Roxane Gay, and Texan Jazz, by Dave Oliphant. I already took a leap and started my next book, in my own words too.
This is the first time in my life that I will have the opportunity to write a book about some women that I admire – all African American and bad ass. I want to admit to you that I have no idea how to do this, it’s historical information; I am an experimental fiction writer and poet. I like a challenge and this is the one. Finding the time, silence, and cafe is what I have been thinking about for the journey ahead. The manuscript is due by December 2019 and I will make it. I believe it and know that it is going to be an experience to remember. I want to take my digital writing platform to a new level. These are not resolutions either; I am setting myself up for my future as a writer, writing in many genres. Sometimes, I think I jump on Facebook too much to say what I want to say, and my voice is filtered out by the media giant. I want to gravitate more to my digital writing space this year vs. social media that I can control.
I think that the time we are living in is a creative time. When you do not understand or cannot make sense of what is taking place – that is when you need to shift your mind and start creating so you can see it on a canvas. Dealing with being an African American woman in these United States, does not make it any easier. I value what I will learn in the space that I work at now and through my outside endeavors about communicating better and viewing microaggressions for what they are from all different races (including my own). I will not compromise being human for the sake of history. Nothing comes without struggle, and I want to be a resource for the masses. On that note, everything is going to be alright.
I do not want to rush through anything in my life – ever. I want to experience everything I am supposed to no matter the circumstance. I believe that is living. I woke up from a place in my life after my mother and aunt passed that I never thought I would be towards the summer of 2018. I am grateful today to be feeling better emotionally and mentally. Grief is nothing to play with in my humble opinion. It can take you to places that you never knew existed in your mind. I am strong enough for the journey coming and in progress now. I walked into my forties era without some very dear people who I wish were here today on this earth, but they are not and that is okay. Life is meant to be lived, they did that for sure! And, now I have to keep going.
Today, it’s cold in Austin, Texas. I am sitting in my creative abode, and continuing to sip on ginger tea, with a spicy kick, and listening to my #blackboymagic on Youtube. The black-eyed peas and greens I made love to with my hands yesterday are warming up, and there is some smoked turkey-sausage in the oven broiling. I woke up today and I wanted somebody to know about it. The only way I know how to do that is writing. It is up close and personal in every way in my life – The Word. Reading is my lifeline and birthright too. I learned my daddy was a real hustler in 2018. I survived (3 1/2 Years of )Missouri – The State. I bought some new license plates / home state. Turned it up another notch. I am a hustler in 2019. Let’s keep it simple. I write and you read. Is that fair?
Always thinking about you…